Texts From Last Night · jdmf23a4's Favorites

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jdmf23a4's Favorites Texts:

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(+61): View more from Australia

She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.

Fav 15 6295 1346
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(713): View more from Texas

Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.

Fav 10 3827 1233
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(226): View more from Ontario

Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again

Fav 5 2161 3532
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(415): View more from California

You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.

Fav 15 5195 2262
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night

Fav 9 1491 6714
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(904): View more from Florida

I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.

Fav 71 12562 1340
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.

Fav 5 3972 1245
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(517): View more from Michigan

The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came

Fav 16 7489 1417
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