Texts From Last Night · jewkid's Favorites

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jewkid's Favorites Texts:

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf

Fav 44 15604 1980
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(519): View more from Ontario

I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick

Fav 18 2192 5916
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(863): View more from Florida

I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good

Fav 14 5356 1626
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(313): View more from Michigan

The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.

Fav 20 5932 2208
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(806): View more from Texas

You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."

(1-806): View more from Texas

Best pick-up line ever!

Fav 35 10253 1635
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks

Fav 27 1586 7488
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'

Fav 24 5228 1563
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(319): View more from Iowa

should my penis look like a turkey

Fav 18 1157 5606
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