Texts From Last Night · joe_yessss's Favorites

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joe_yessss's Favorites Texts:

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(336): View more from North Carolina

We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her

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(858): View more from California

I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"

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(248): View more from Michigan

You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...

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(248): View more from Michigan

Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Operation Purity has been aborted

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(818): View more from California

Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.

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(214): View more from Texas

Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

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