Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Every concussion has its silver lining
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
