Texts From Last Night · mel_hine's Favorites

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mel_hine's Favorites Texts:

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"

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(651): View more from Minnesota

My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means

(651): View more from Minnesota

ITS ORAL SEX CAROL

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

I can't even make a guess how that goes.

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(813): View more from Florida

I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.

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(+57): View more from

I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.

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(614): View more from Ohio

TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG

(1-614): View more from Ohio

HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.

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