Texts From Last Night · mermaidman's Favorites

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mermaidman's Favorites Texts:

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(607): View more from New York

Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles

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(804): View more from Virginia

they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house

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(212): View more from New York

chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.

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(678): View more from Georgia

At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2

(908): View more from New Jersey

Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?

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(301): View more from Maryland

he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.

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(519): View more from Ontario

and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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(928): View more from Arizona

This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.

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