Texts From Last Night · nloving's Favorites

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nloving's Favorites Texts:

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(251): View more from Alabama

We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.

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(720): View more from Colorado

We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.

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(801): View more from Utah

She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.

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(805): View more from California

You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you

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(256): View more from Alabama

Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?

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(734): View more from Michigan

Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.

(1-734): View more from Michigan

Haha did she know what fisting meant?

(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time

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(843): View more from South Carolina

got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired

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