Texts From Last Night · pixpix's Favorites

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pixpix's Favorites Texts:

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf

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(415): View more from California

i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.

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(775): View more from Nevada

god, a vagina is an amazing trump card

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(773): View more from Illinois

I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.

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(360): View more from Washington

I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...

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