Texts From Last Night · praznick's Favorites

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praznick's Favorites Texts:

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(661): View more from California

Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.

Fav 22 5917 1843
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(518): View more from New York

September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location

Fav 16 9973 1747
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(703): View more from Virginia

Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.

Fav 12 7150 1675
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now

Fav 27 5532 1709
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(319): View more from Iowa

How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.

Fav 26 8478 1779
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(352): View more from Florida

i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

Fav 185 53788 3105
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(310): View more from California

i fucked a milf yesterday.

(619): View more from California

i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.

Fav 28 14080 2295
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(360): View more from Washington

I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock

Fav 29 1122 1653
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