Texts From Last Night · stepfather's Favorites

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stepfather's Favorites Texts:

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(847): View more from Illinois

First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk

Fav 6 3279 1624
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(352): View more from Florida

You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.

Fav 10 2727 998
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.

Fav 20 6556 1277
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(716): View more from New York

I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat

Fav 2 1307 535
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