Texts From Last Night · tomcat34's Favorites

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tomcat34's Favorites Texts:

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(757): View more from Virginia

At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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(757): View more from Virginia

He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.

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(650): View more from California

I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.

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(310): View more from California

it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined

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(314): View more from Missouri

who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...

(1-314): View more from Missouri

I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.

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(520): View more from Arizona

I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.

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