Texts From Last Night · umentum2's Favorites

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umentum2's Favorites Texts:

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"

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(816): View more from Missouri

You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar

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(302): View more from Delaware

How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?

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