Texts From Last Night · usmctanker's Favorites

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

usmctanker's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you

Fav 8 1390 3300
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

How did you break your hand eating pizza?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Boxes are hard to see rocks through.

Fav 7 3002 1177
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.

Fav 4 5522 1504
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine

Fav 23 3263 1716
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT