Texts From Last Night · vexx203's Favorites

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vexx203's Favorites Texts:

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.

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(416): View more from Toronto

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!

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(732): View more from New Jersey

why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?

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(773): View more from Illinois

he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.

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(210): View more from Texas

no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked

Fav 10 3804 1867
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