Texts From Last Night · willmh3's Favorites

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willmh3's Favorites Texts:

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

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(607): View more from New York

I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.

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(213): View more from California

she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies

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(757): View more from Virginia

At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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(519): View more from Ontario

I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.

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