Last Night in Illinois (312)

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?

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• (310): View more from California

  Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  it's gonna be a chat room kind of night

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  ...well that sucks.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.

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