Last Night in New York (516)

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• (516): View more from New York

  if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"

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• (516): View more from New York

  I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb

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• (516): View more from New York

  That 2-CB was ass.

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  You mean the asprin cut with pez?

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• (516): View more from New York

  I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.

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• (516): View more from New York

  hey sweets how's ur crotch today?

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• (516): View more from New York

  I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

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• (516): View more from New York

  ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work

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• (516): View more from New York

  not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today

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• (516): View more from New York

  The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn

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• (516): View more from New York

  St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?

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• (516): View more from New York

  Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?

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• (516): View more from New York

  I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.

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• (516): View more from New York

  You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions

  (516): View more from New York

  and like half a dozen dick pics

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