Last Night in California (650)

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• (650): View more from California

  I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.

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• (650): View more from California

  Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.

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• (650): View more from California

  an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.

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• (650): View more from California

  after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you

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• (650): View more from California

  OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.

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• (650): View more from California

  I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?

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• (650): View more from California

  Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers

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• (650): View more from California

  the ice cream truck is coming omgomg

  (1-650): View more from California

  dude, it's 2 am.

  (650): View more from California

  but its COMING

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• (650): View more from California

  my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah

  (415): View more from California

  and she bought it?!?

  (650): View more from California

  yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes

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• (650): View more from California

  so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.

  (1-650): View more from California

  did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?

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• (650): View more from California

  they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.

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• (650): View more from California

  Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"

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• (650): View more from California

  Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.

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• (650): View more from California

  This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"

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