Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (905)

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Last Night in Ontario (905)

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(905): View more from Ontario

I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight

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(905): View more from Ontario

Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.

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(905): View more from Ontario

We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.

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(905): View more from Ontario

It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on

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(905): View more from Ontario

Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.

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(905): View more from Ontario

I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?

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(905): View more from Ontario

Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.

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(905): View more from Ontario

I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings

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