Last Night in Arkansas (479)

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  No that means he must've used the nipple clamps

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.

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