Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (408)

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Last Night in California (408)

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(408): View more from California

Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise

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(408): View more from California

just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".

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(408): View more from California

im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.

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(408): View more from California

He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.

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(408): View more from California

I don't have enough holes for all these australians

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(408): View more from California

It's chlamydia! Thank God!

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(408): View more from California

if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place

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(408): View more from California

Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this

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