Last Night in Alabama (251)

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.

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  Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?

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