Last Night in South Dakota (605)

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom

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  i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Say something about gay babies.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.

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