Last Night in New Jersey (862)

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.

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