Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (850)

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Last Night in Florida (850)

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(850): View more from Florida

this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen

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(850): View more from Florida

One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey

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(850): View more from Florida

Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?

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(850): View more from Florida

I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(

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(850): View more from Florida

when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.

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(850): View more from Florida

Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

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(850): View more from Florida

Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?

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(850): View more from Florida

You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.

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