Last Night in Minnesota (218)

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan

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