Last Night in New Zealand (+64)

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...

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  Is this how the global financial crisis happened?

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.

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  I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend

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