Last Night in Alberta, CA (780)

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?

  (587): View more from Alberta

  She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  The key to alley sex is drunkeness.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.

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