Last Night in Washington (206)

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...

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• (206): View more from Washington

  He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet

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• (206): View more from Washington

  She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can

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• (206): View more from Washington

  you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.

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