My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
organizing the empties. That sober.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Randomize
