Last Night in Toronto (416)

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  When did you hit me on the head with a stool?

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.

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