Last Night in Alabama (256)

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud

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  So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.

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  You are an idiot.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  so my dad walked in on us having sex

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  lulz really? why?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them

  (256): View more from Alabama

  FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Just make sure my intervention has a theme...

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.

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