Last Night in Oklahoma (918)

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again

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• (1918): View more from

  If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"

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• (386): View more from Florida

  How was the party last night?

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  I thank god almighty everyday

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  Basically.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And we're breaking up

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...

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