Last Night in Illinois (618)

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Disappointment?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  This is true but you can't really get fired from college

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.

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