Last Night in Virginia (703)

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once

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  I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.

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  That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH

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  Hillary?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I sharted in my christmas pjs :(

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