so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She bit a glass in half.
It's never too late to be topless.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
