Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
