Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
