i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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