do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
