That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
