Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
