Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
