You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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