you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
