And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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