You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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