is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
