New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
