i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize