i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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