that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
