Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
